We are pleased to announce that the High Conflict Diversion Program has partnered with Our Family Wizard – an amazing resource to better manage all child custody and visitation matters after divorce or other custody disputes.
"As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be you can’t see how it is." — Ram Dass, Spiritual Teacher
I woke up this morning and eventually, as I usually do, checked my email. There in one of the emails was this inspirational quote of the day.
The notion that our desires overshadow my ability to actually see what is right in front of me is somehow surprisingly revolutionary.
Your parenting plan is the piece of the puzzle that is going to inoculate you from most of the causes of the conflict. Your parenting plan must include specifics of the day of the week and the time of the day for the pick up and drop off. Be specific – not after school. If kids are not always in school, we need a time. Sometimes, that actually means when it’s summertime or vacation time. It needs to be absolutely specified so when the police show up, you can say, “Here it is.”
In understanding High Conflict Divorce it is essential to understand what lies at its roots.. Frequently, we humans get caught up in conflict for the simple reason that we are in some way attached to it. Although this statement may at first sound absurd, it has been proven over and over again to be true. This doesn’t mean that we wake up in the morning and start looking for a conflict to get attached to. But it does mean that getting drawn into it is a common human tendency—one that we most likely learned as we were growing up.
It’s a death or severe accident in the family. It’s a wedding or a birthday. These are events that your children must have an opportunity to be a part of. Family celebrations are a big deal. Things that will happen only once in a lifetime are not going to get a chance to be rearranged. Grandma just dropped tickets for a trip to Europe. It’s a freebie. They’re going to go to Paris they’re going to go to Barcelona and they’re going to go to Greece. Here’s an opportunity for them to see the world and it’s on your week. Are you going to stop them from doing it with the other parent because it’s on your week? I’m sure hoping not but many parents in high conflict divorce and custody disputes will do that.
The High Conflict Diversion Program textbook was created to support the classroom experience of learning about parenting in a high conflict divorce or custody dispute.